


Where the Lonely Souls Go

by clonedcupcake



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 09:41:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3605412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clonedcupcake/pseuds/clonedcupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa was raised to hide her emotions. All of her people were. There was only one place, hidden deep in the woods, where they could let go. Said to have been created by the tears of their ancestors who survived the war, the pond is a sanctuary for those who have loved, and lost. There the trikru may mourn until they find the courage to continue their fight. Lexa goes there after the retreat, and is surprised to wake one morning to find a familiar face has joined her there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where the Lonely Souls Go

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from a song by Hagalaz Runedance. I don't even know what this is. I was supposed to be doing a paper. Oops. I wrote this very fast, so there is likely mistakes.
> 
> I like comments or feedback as long as it isn't blatantly mean :)
> 
> cloned-commander-of-camelot on tumblr

After she leads her people away from Mount Weather, Lexa walks through the night to get to the pond. Her warriors ask no questions when she tells them where she is going, but give her their food and water, and a sympathetic nod. 

The minutes she spends there crying turn into hours, and then into days. She does not care when her food runs out. She has to stay here until she finds peace. 

When she wakes one morning, she thinks her peace has come in the form of death. The first thing she sees when she opens her eyes is a familiar figure sitting across the pond, trailing her fingers through the waters.

“Clarke!” She whispers, mostly to herself. Though she is weak from hunger and nights spent awake stuck in nightmares, Lexa runs over to her as fast as her legs will carry her.

“Clarke?”

The blonde does not lift her head.

When Lexa sits down beside her, she can see the tears on her cheeks.

Lexa desperately wants to reach out to her. To say something, anything, about how sorry she is, but she knows now is not the time. Instead she whispers, "You have come to the right place."

Still, Clarke does not respond. She stares out at the water, silent.

Lexa continues, her voice soft. "My people call this the Pond of Tears. It is where we come to mourn when our loved ones die. It is said that when the war first ended, the survivors filled it with their tears, as they were still weak and did not know how to control their emotions. My people are taught not to show weakness, and that to be stoic is to be strong. This is the only place we know how to cry."

Lexa remembers how when she was ten she had walked in circles around the pond, wailing, while Anya looked on. Her mother had just been killed in battle, but not before her daughter had been named commander. Lexa had taken comfort in that fact , and used it to stop her tears.

"I have come here many times," Lexa continues, “I have spent many days here. Sometimes I think I have cried enough to replenish the waters in full."

She watches as Clarke's eyelashes flutter, and she raises a hand to wipe her eyes.

"We stay here until we find something to hold on to, to give us strength to continue on. For my mother, it was the fact that she had lived long enough to see me be chosen as commander. It took me two days, but I realized that she would have wanted me to be strong and continue on. I took comfort in this."

Clarke raises her eyes to meet Lexa's. She still does not speak, but listens.

"When Costia's head was sent to me, I ran here before anyone could see my tears. I stayed three and a half days. I did not eat, I did not sleep. I could not find a reason to rise again. It was only when she came to me one day, that I began to believe there was something left for me to hold on to. She told me that she forgave me, that she was alright, and she would see me in the next life. She told me that I must carry on. Perhaps it was delirium, or a dream, but it did the trick. I left that day and returned to my people because that is what she wanted me to do. I owed her that much. When I arrived home, and saw their joy at my return, I realized I had made the right choice. I could not mourn forever. My people needed me."

Lexa watches as Clarke's eyes brim with tears.

"I came here right after I abandoned you,” Lexa laces her fingers together, and looks down. “Because I was sure I had lost you, and because I knew it was my fault. There was the blood of yet another I loved on my hands, and I could not bear it again."

Clarke's eyes widen when she says the word "loved." It is only after this that Clarke speaks. 

"What did you find to hold on to?" She asks.

"Nothing." Lexa shrugs. "I could find nothing."

"So when did you leave?"

She meets Clarke's eyes. "I didn't."

Clarke's eyes widen in realization.

Lexa smiles sadly. "Only now can I leave."

“I cannot,” Clarke sobs. She falls against Lexa, burying her head in her shoulder. “I killed them all. Everyone in Mount Weather, even the people who had helped us! Even children!”

“I mourn those I lost in battle too. Every warriors, the innocents of TonDC. I have shed tears for them too."

“I don’t think I can leave,” Clarke whispers. “Not for a long while.”

“Then we will stay until that moment.” Lexa gently wraps her arms around Clarke. “It takes as long as it takes.”


End file.
